Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
by kbecks41319
Summary: What's it matter if they do or don't? Honestly, it's not like it's the end of the world... "I'll even let you say it was because you were drunk."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Seriously do not know where this came from.. I just ship them a whole hell of a lot. ;) I own nothing. Enjoy!

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><p>She had tried, really she had (because she did not want to get tangled up even more in the mess that was Addison and Derek) but something about Mark Sloan made it difficult for her to focus on much of anything. And she told him that, when she sucked it up and gave him a call. Flat out informed him that if he didn't get out of her head she was going to end up killing a patient with the wrong medicine or something. He had just chuckled and told her that he'd see her at work the next day.<p>

Bastard. His eyes had followed her all day, had caressed the outline of her body backwards and forwards while she talked to patients and comforted families. When Bailey had stuck her on his service, she had all but went out of her way to beg the woman not to.. which only made it worse. She'd be on his service for the next week, longer if she wasn't careful.

Ignoring him worked best, though it barely helped when her hands shook while doing a simple IV. He had made an innocent comment, coming to stand behind her on the pretense of showing her how to do it the right way. He was too close and not close enough, leaving her to battle the urge of moving closer or pulling away. The teenage boy that they were working on flat out asked if they were screwing and when neither of them answered, told them they needed to. Meredith had fled the room, cheeks burning red as Mark's booming laughter chased her down the hall.

She managed to avoid him for the half an hour that was left of her shift, doing boring paper work in Coma Guy's room while he blissfully continued to ignore the world around him. She envied him, only slightly, sometimes.

As soon as her shift had ended, and she was sure they wouldn't be trying to get her to stay for a double, she had went straight across the street to Joe's and ordered herself five shots of Tequila immediately. Her serenity at the bar had only lasted a grand total of three hours.

"You're in there and I want you out," she told him as she poked him hard in the chest.

They were standing outside of Joe's bar, off to the side a bit where the night left them in the dark. He had been staring at her all night from the corner table he had been sitting at. When she'd finally had enough and stormed out of the bar, he had followed her. Pure instincts had her turning around and backing him into the darkened corner.

"You know, Grey, that could be a metaphor for something else." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, chuckling when she stomped her foot in annoyance at him.

"This isn't funny, Sloan," she poked his chest again and crossed her arms. "You are Derek's ex-best-friend. You slept with his wife!"

"I'm not the one watching you like you're naked and covered in chocolate," his eyes lit up at that and she watched as he indulged in a moment of pure imagination before she thumped him on the shoulder.. hard.

"But you are watching me like I'm naked and covered in chocolate," she pointed out as she threw her hands up. "At work, at Joe's. I can not do my job with you staring at me like I'm a piece of candy you just want to eat up."

"Well, maybe if we.."

She clamped her hand over his mouth before he could utter another word, eyes wide as she shook her head at him. "No. No way. We are not.." She shook her head more and let her hand drop away. "I am not getting myself even more tangled in this mess."

"It doesn't have to be a mess," he offered. "It can just be two adults having fun."

"You're my boss. Or my boss's boss." She shook her head, confusing herself in her slightly drunken state. She did not have the patience to work out the semantics of the situation. "And you're my ex-boyfriend's ex-best-friend. We can not do this."

"Actually, we can. You just don't want to."

"Don't want to," she laughed a sick little laugh before turning away from him and running a hand through her hair. "Seattle Grace does not need another reason to keep me in the gossip mill."

"So we don't give them a reason," he shrugged. "We keep it between us."

"Nothing ever stays between two people in this place," she muttered before sighing and looking back at him. "Plus, we'd be breaking the Dirty Mistress Club rules."

"The Dirty Mistress Club needs to have a meeting. My hotel room. Tonight. Right now." He had moved closer to her and was now close enough to reach out and play with a strand of loose hair, a cocky grin pulling up the corner of his lips.

"We can't," she half-heartedly told him as she turned slightly away. "If we do, everything will change and I can not have Bailey on my ass again over an Attending. The last thing I need is everyone thinking that I'm trying to sleep my way to the top."

"So if I sleep with you, I'm going to start giving you all my good surgeries?" He tilted his head at her and she knew right away where he was going with this.

"I don't have an interest in Plastics, I know." She groaned and rubbed her hand over her face.

"I'll even let you say it was because you were drunk," he smirked as he tugged on the stray blond hair, pulling her closer to him.

"I am drunk," Meredith pointed out with a stern look towards him.

"Lining up your excuses already," Mark simply nodded before holding his hand out to her. "Either way."

She stared at him hard for a good minute before taking his hand, rolling her eyes at his wide smile. "I don't like you very much right now."

"If I wanted to be liked, I doubt I would have came to Seattle."

"Touché," she muttered as they stepped out of the shadows and he waved a cab down. She had tried to stay away from the walking disaster that was Mark Sloan, had tried to keep away from the temptation of McSteamy.. but, honestly, she knew from the beginning there wasn't any staying away from him. Derek be damned. He lost all rights to be mad at her when he forgot to mention he was married. It wasn't like she hadn't slept with inappropriate men before.

This would be just like all the other times.. A good time with no strings attached. It would be simple. Right?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Well.. You all wanted more! So, here ya go :) I hope you all enjoy. And as usual, I own nothing.

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><p>Wrong. She couldn't get him out of her head, again. Son of a bitching Mark Sloan. Him and his cocky self. She wanted to strangle him and quite possible chop him up to feed him to a shark. Or maybe she'd feed him to Derek. They seemed to be out to get her.<p>

"Don't ask," she grumbled out to Izzie as she flew into the house, climbing the stairs two at a time to reach her bathroom. Once there, she closed and locked the door behind her before leaning against it.

She was going to kill Mark Sloan.

"Stupid men with their stupid penises and their stupid charm," she mumbled under her breath as she undressed, ignoring the bright red love bites that covered her body. She wanted to be pissed, really, at the small marks that would only be visible if she walked around naked.. but she couldn't be, not when his reasoning was 'in case any one else gets any ideas'.

"Like he has any say in who I sleep with." She rolled her eyes, starting the shower water as she grabbed her toothbrush and smeared some toothpaste over it. "Like I have any extra time to sleep with anyone else."

It had been two months since they had started sleeping together, even though she had sworn it'd be a one time thing. She just couldn't tell him no, not when he'd give her that grin and buy her drinks beforehand. 'To keep your cover story', he always promised. Like she would have a snowball chance in hell at using that for an excuse now.

To make all matters worse, her friends were starting to become suspicious and Derek was asking questions. Not that it mattered what the hell he wanted to know or thought he deserved to know. That chapter of her life? Finished. Complete. No re-writes. She was even becoming friendly with Addison (something she was sure would go down in flames as soon as the redhead found out about Sloan).

"My damn life," she muttered as she stepped into the shower, letting the water wash everything away as she spit the toothpaste from her mouth.

"Mer, I'm making pancakes if you want something to eat when you get out!" Izzie's voice floated through the door, startling her out of her ranting as she glanced towards the voice.

"Blueberry?" She asked hopefully, a sucker for the warm and fluffy blueberry pancakes that her friend would make for her - usually to get her out of bed or bribe her into doing something.

"Maybe," the bubbly blond smirked, Meredith could feel it through the door, before the sound of footsteps told that she was walking away.

"Stupid men," she grumbled once again as she put her toothbrush down before lathering shampoo into her hair. Eventually she would have to tell her friends about the.. thing happening between her and Sloan, especially Cristina, but she was hoping to do that later rather than sooner.

To be honest, the arrangement they had wasn't completely horrible. They always met at his hotel room, always riding in separate vehicles (except for that first night), they didn't talk to each other at work unless it was necessary, the conversation between them was easy and there was no strings attached.

Except that there were. Strings. And a lot of them, if the whirlpool in her stomach was anything to go by. She cursed herself, pulling on a random shirt as she breezed into the kitchen where the smell of pancakes slapped her in the face.

"Morning," Izzie chirped from the stove as Alex simply grunted from the table. George was nowhere in sight, which was normal these days.

"It's too early to be that happy," she muttered in her friend's direction as she headed straight for the coffee pot to pour her a cup. She didn't bother with anything except a small thing of creamer before she took a large sip, relishing in the feel of the warm liquid going down her throat.

"Someone's booty call didn't go as planned," Izzie observed with small grin as she slid the rest of the pancakes onto a plate before turning to put the pan in the sink. "She's usually able to deal with the chipper after she comes slinking home."

"Maybe she's pregnant," Alex offered distractedly as he piled him a plate of pancakes six high.

"Evil Spawn," Meredith hissed at him before stealing his plate, grabbing a fork and the syrup as she retreated to the table. "And no, I'm not pregnant."

Izzie visibly deflated but perked right back up, offering Alex another plate as she moved around the kitchen to clean up the mess she had made. "Maybe they got into a fight."

"Maybe," Meredith started around a bite of pancakes. "It's none of your business and you should shut it."

"Pregnant," Alex nodded as he slumped into the seat across from the dirty blond, merely smirking her way when she sent him a glare before he started in on his breakfast.

"Izzie, please remind me why we're letting him live here." Her eyes squinted as she paused mid bite, studying the man across from her with feigned interest.

"Because he's our friend and his apartment caught on fire," Izzie recited. "And that's also why we don't let him cook. Ever."

"That fire was not my fault," Alex said around a mouthful of food, ignoring the disgusted looks from the two women. "Faulty wiring."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Meredith smirked as she took another bite, glancing in Izzie's direction as she finally sat down with her own plate. "No George?"

"He was on call last night," the bubbly blond shrugged as Alex stood up from the table, his plate already clean.

"Garbage disposal," Meredith said, repeating something Cristina had said something earlier in the week.

"Jealous," Alex scoffed as he dumped his plate in the sink before heading out of the kitchen, clearly off to get ready for work.

"You work today?" Izzie glanced at her, eyebrow posed in question as they continued to eat.

"Later," she nodded as she grabbed for the syrup again, smothering the now cold pancakes with the sugary good. "You?"

"I just worked a double, I got home right before you. I don't go in until tonight," the other doctor shrugged as she took a few more bites in silence.

She can't take it. The silence. It's gnawing at her. She can hear the question that's not being asked, the question they all want to know. Stupid, freaking Mark Sloan. She rubbed the crease in her forehead, ignoring the curious glance her friend sent her way.

It would be easier to keep it to herself, to keep the sex and the secrets and everything between her and Mark. It wouldn't be easy prey to the Seattle Grace gossip mill if she kept her mouth shut and her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth. But that was way too easy.

"I'm sleeping with Sloan," she muttered into her plate, not daring to look at her friend.

"Damn it," Izzie dropped her fork, the clanking noise echoing through the kitchen. "I owe Cristina fifty bucks."

"What?" Meredith blinked, shaking her head as she looked up at her friend and took in what she said. "You guys have a bet going on who I'm sleeping with?"

"Alex and I had our money on Addison," Izzie shrugged, picking her fork back up to take another bite.

"I can not believe that you guys bet on-" She paused, squinting her eyes as she realized exactly what the bubbly blond had said. "Addison? Seriously, Iz?"

"You practically live up there with the Gynie Squad now," the other pointed out. "But that explains it. You both doing Sloan?"

Meredith spit out the milk she had just took a swallow of, spraying the table as her mouth dropped open and she simply stared at her friend. Her.. and Addison.. Both sleeping.. She shook her head, giving her friend a look before jumping up to grab a few paper towels.

Stupid, annoying Mark Sloan. Why did she have to let those blue eyes get her into all of this? And that cocky ass grin.. She sighed, shaking her head. It was absolutely no good trying to talk herself out of this. It wouldn't work.

It isn't until she's back at the table, trying to drink her milk again that Izzie opened her mouth once more and has her doing yet another spit take.

"McSteamy would make cute babies."


End file.
